December third

My mind scares me so much right now. I’ve been making art as a foundation of my sense of self, it was my way of saying ‘this is what I am’, the thing I could picture myself being successful at. I know in some time it will all go back to the way things used to be but… oh my gods I hate it. So afraid of actually typing it. Do I feel like I’m not good enough? Yes. But it’s something more. I need to literally delete myself. I need my escape from this. I drew when I had to code. Will I code when I need to draw?